fbpx
close

“Be Your Own Twinkie” By Jim Sears of The WKU Store and SKY Farmer’s Market.

By Jim Sears, www.bookstore.wku.edu
Wednesday, August 22nd, 2011 10:00 AM CST

When I was growing up, our family very rarely went on what could be called vacations. Wetook trips to the old family farm to camp or made day trips to Mammoth Cave. Don’t get me wrong, I am not bemoaning my lack of vacation time—who would I be fooling—growing up was a vacation.

My parents do, however, have in their possession a rare vacation photo of my family on a trip to Opryland. It is like any other family vacation photo except for one glaring difference—the entire family is clad in the same J.C. Penny knockoff striped polos with matching navy blue pleated shorts. Out of view of the photo, my mother’s purse sports the “I shot JR” button that all the women were wearing at that time. Well, at least the women who shopped tourist trap gift shops.
We are standing in front of the Wabash Cannonball on our way to the Angle Inn or Tiltin’ Hilton as it was more affectionately known. The Tiltin’ attraction—to those of you who spent vacation time on the shore or at some fancy boardwalk—consisted of a building constructed at drastic angles to make you feel like you are going to fall down. My cousin, Scotty, known forever afterwards as “Fruit Loops” threw up said breakfast on this very spot. This was all very strange
in that the sensation was not unlike stepping off a curb.

Let us not forget the outfits that Clara Jean had her brood wearing. Prior to the trip she spent much time flipping through the Sears and J.C. Penny catalog to get that perfect box store chic look for her family. She selected wide collared polos with even wider stripes running horizontally to give that filling appearance for a family who needed a good meal at the Cracker Barrel. Navy blue ersatz Haggar pleated shorts complete with stark white three-pronged belt.

White tube socks fashionably, elastically resting halfway up the white-washed calves of Scots-Irish legs more accustomed to Toughskin jeans. At the shoe, Clara Jean allowed a level of expression not allowed above the ankle—Chuck Taylors or Pro-Keds. We look like the Brady Bunch running headlong into the outstretched arms of the weekly K-Mart newspaper insert.

As the day progressed, polos were untucked by the Flume Zoom, inelastic tube socks puddled at the ankle and sullied Pro-Keds squished recycled Grizzly River Rampage water. By the end of the day we no longer looked like the box of Twinkies that greeted the morning. We looked more like a hillbilly version of the Von Trapp Family Singers.

The trip (as it is now known) has been embellished and retold to the point that family members who were not even on the trip would swear under oath that they were there. Sears’ and Alveys still just twinkles in their parent’s eyes tell the story like Scottish bards relaying great battles against the hated English. Perhaps I am getting carried away, but it was a funny trip.

As many of you know I work at the WKU Store and part of our job is to make sure that all you folks are dressed for success when it comes to game time on The Hill. Personally, I do not hold a Clara Jean-like desire to dress an entire community in matching clothes—a bit too Orwellian for me. However, I do want to let you folks in on a little secret: The WKU Store will be in the business of selling the official WKU Football tee shirt. Some of the proceeds will go to the
general scholarship fund of WKU Football.

The great thing about this shirt is that you can wear whatever you want with it and not have the scrutinizing eye of Mama Clara Jean–I am talking khakis, plaids, tweeds, skorts and jorts for hipsters, prepsters, hillbillies or hippies. The hipster and the hillbilly very rarely meet in social circles and hippies and prepsters do no usually break bread together. Likewise, my oldest sister
and I had very little in common growing up, but boy, did we love the Cannonball. And we bonded in matching polos. What do you say, Topper Nation, do you feel like bonding?

Mark your calendar for August 25, 2012 for Family Fun Day at Houchens-Smith Stadium 4:00 to 6:00 p.m. It is a great event for the family and the perfect way to kick off the football season.

Look for The WKU Store tent—we will be on the field with the rest of you fans soaking in the Tops. We will have free face painting and an enter-to-win drawing. Who’s got it better than us? Nobody. And who’s got a better shirt than us? Nobody.

About the Author: Jim Sears is the Associate Director of The WKU Store. He is also a member of SKY Farmers Market and is affectionately known as “Dog Biscuit Boy.”

Tags: ,

Story Page